Sunday, March 02, 2014

book recommendation: hair of the corn dog

This post is not going to be about my kids. Instead, it will be about someone else's kids--and family, actually, of an author (AK Turner) I recently discovered and whose writings I thoroughly enjoy.

They say everyone has a twin—I think AK Turner may be mine. Except she’s published books and stuff. And she’s funnier and wittier than I am. I think her headshot shows her wearing glasses while my vision is at this point 20/20. And, well, she may consume a bit more alcohol than I do (but not much).

Ok, maybe we’re not that much alike. But there are definitely similarities, particularly the mom thing, especially since we have young children (girls, even) around the same age, and that’s what initially drew me to the first book I read of hers: Mommy Had a Little Flask. Those stories had me giggling so much that I sought her out on Facebook, liked her author page, and the next thing I knew I had a digital copy of her soon-to-released book Hair of the Corn Dog on my Kindle and the opportunity to review it. I wondered how her tales of family life would measure up to her previous work(s) this time. Would they be funny? Would they entertain? Would I be able to comprehend her train of thought without having a glass or three of wine myself? The answer to each of these questions is a resounding “yes!”

I loved this book. It had me in stitches on at least every third page, most notably during the description of Turner’s daughters’ art camp (where they did almost no art) and as she recalled entertaining encounters with her in-laws. (She and her mother-in-law sneak booze into public events in their coffee mugs and pole dance together. Isn’t that awesome?) And her acknowledgement of farting in bed really had me tooting—er, hooting. Ok, maybe a little of both. (Because you know, we all do it. We just don’t admit it.)
Basically, I absolutely think anyone with a sense of humor should check out this book. I just don’t recommend reading it while trying to create a quiet, soothing environment to coax your baby to sleep in. (My poor guy kept waking up en route to la-la land as my chest heaved repeatedly from trying to suppress my laughter. Attempts to keep this in check made things worse and his naps were crap until I finished the book.)

Five stars from me. And if I’m ever in Boise, I’d love to stop in Humpin’ Hannah’s for a drink with this hilarious woman. 

PS Hopefully this glowing review will negate the fact that I "borrowed" a JPEG of the book from online without permission. :)

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

back in the saddle again

Ha ha ha..I just "found" my blog once again. I see the last post began with me wondering where the heck 2012 went. Well, folks, how about 2013? What happened to that one? It's gone and done, and here we sit in the bright, early, cold months of January 2014. Very. Cold. Kids have already had SIX "snow" days (they have actually been extreme weather condition days). Yesterday was the latest one. But my parents, the good souls, came by to take Miss M and Miss A out for lunch and other mall adventures, and I've been thinking I need to bring back the mom blog lately, so while I should be working on newsletters for clients, I thought I'd take a moment to re-ignite this thing.

So since all kinds of time has passed since my last entry and we've not caught up for a while, do you want to guess what I am doing right this second? I'll give you a hint--it begins with a B. I am currently holding a warm bundle of about 15 lbs. in my arms, listening to the soothing (or maddening, depending on how you look at it) sounds of sweet lullabies emerging from a fuzzy brown monkey's light-up tummy while willing a certain 5-month-old to finish his nap.

Did you guess correctly? That's right, we got ourselves a baby!

In August of last year we welcomed little Mr. Wesley to the family. His big sisters adore him. Mom and Dad do too, although he gave us quite a run for our money with the timing of his birth. The day before Miss M started 2nd grade and the very first day of classes at Kevin's college #1 Mr. W decided to make his appearance. He was pretty much right on schedule--just a few days early, and on my dad's birthday actually--so it shouldn't have shocked us. We knew the timing was bad. But I felt completely out of the loop during the first few months of school--my email didn't make it to the teacher's list and since a certain 7-year-old doesn't tell us much about what's going on at school, I was totally out of it. A far cry from last year when I was in school volunteering once or twice a month!

But we persevered and now we're settling into a bit of a groove. Well, some days we have a groove. Other days it's more like we are caught in a whirlpool of kidstuff and we're (that is, "I" am) hanging on for dear life. But overall, things are great and I wouldn't change a thing.

So now have two girls and a boy. So far the boy thing is different...and this started in utero. My entire pregnancy was different from those with the girls. Here's the short list of my pregnancy ailments:

- Never had morning sickness, but during the first trimester I had aversions to just about every food but grilled cheese and peanuts. Especially coffee. That was very, very sad.

- I had issues with my sciatic nerve. Damn, that hurts. Walking hurt. Sitting hurt. 

- Swelling of the, uh, unmentionables for at least 6 or 7 of those 9 months. 

- Headaches! Being pregnant with the girls cured my migraines, at least until they were born. But headaches were a near-constant enemy of mine for the first and second trimesters this time. They weren't migraines, but they were annoying.

- He sat sooo low toward the end. Constant peeing. Constant pain. Couldn't get up. Couldn't roll over in bed. Suck.

However, I have managed to put most of this out of my mind as W's sweet little self has more than made up for it. That said, we are NOT doing this again. Three kids is our limit!!

So to catch up with everyone, which I'll do briefly because who really has time to read a long-ass post?

W is 5 months. He's laughing, smiling, growing, nearly sitting, and he's got these awesomely awesome blue eyes. Gonna get the girls for sure with those!

A is 4 and prepping for kindergarten next year. Well, she's in preschool anyway and our prepping is pretty much informal: "Look, next year you'll be going to that school over there with your sister!" I'm trying to make myself truly appreciate the time we have together at home now since she'll be at school all day next year, but some days I just don't feel like I'm doing a very good job of that. Life is just a little bit crazy right now and poor A is the middle kid. She's doing ok, though. Still a totally lovable kiddo who has a super snuggly side that I'm certain is there to balance her air of mischief.

M is 7 (nearly 8) and in second grade. She loves school, friends, rainbow looms (it's all the rage you know), reading, and is becoming quite the little lady. She's got a sense of fashion that I could only dream of and a penchant for peacemaking. Case in point: a girl in her class took a little envelope she made and decorated and wouldn't give it back. She came home and told me about this and was upset, and when I asked what she thought she should do about it she thought a minute and said, "I should make her one so she'll have her very own. And then maybe she'll give mine back!" Guess what. Her plan worked. Awwww.

It takes lots of words to catch up and I don't need to do it all now. Signing off for the night, then, with a promise to return sometime before the next two years fly by!